I feel like snoopy right now...

..."Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” - Snoopy

It's so true. Someone would always leave...and a lot of the time it feels like I'm the one who is leaving! I am the one always saying goodbye. I hate times that are full of goodbyes. I hate that my heart is torn across the world. In the past week and a half, I've had to say goodbye to 2 brothers, 2 brother-in-law, 2 sister, 2 sisters-in-law, 7 neices, 2 nephews, and 3 Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and countless friends. Goodbyes are so hard. They're always so hard. It's hard even in the lead up to a goodbye. It's hard to be at your siblings house that one last time before you have to say goodbye and leave. It's hard that you missing giving your brother that one last hug to say goodbye. It's hard to have to get back on the road quickly for the last 6 hour drive of the day and to have a rushed goodbye with your Grandparents and siblings. It's hard realising that all your neices and nephews are going to grow up more before the next time you see them. It's hard when you're hanging out with your cousins and Aunts and Uncles having so much fun playing games, only to come to the end of the night and realise it's the last night you'll spend with them, and that tomorrow you'll have to say goodbye. It's hard to say goodbye to people not knowing when the next time will be that you see them again.

And there are times that I think, I wish the world was smaller, I wish we lived back in the 1800's where people grew up and lived in the same place all their life. But then I remember that back then people also left and never saw their family again. And there are times that I wish goodbyes were not such a present reality in my life.

And those things, the longing to all be together, the longing to never have to say goodbye, the longing for no more tears, are all things that also keep present in my mind and heart a longing for Heaven, where for all of eternity all Christians will be together.

And, really, the more I think about it, the more I really ponder it, the more I realise that Jono Blakstons words are so true, 'the goodbye was worth the hello' And I think about the Blackwood Bash, where we were all together for a couple of days, and I remember things like late night D&M's with my siblings when we'd chat into the night. And the times when my neices and nephews would see me walk into the room and come running up to give me a hug. And I think about things like 4wheeling and boating and eating and playing games together with my Aunts, Uncles, Grandma, and Cousins, and I do know that the goodbye, as sad as it is, as hard as it is to say, as much as I don't like to say that word, as much as I want to get everybody in the world that I love together, the goodbye really was worth the many, many hello's that I've had with my siblings, my niblings, my Couns, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, and friends.

The wood between the worlds...

For those of you who have read C.S. Lewis's book titled the Magicians Nephew, you will understand the title. For those of you who haven't, I'll give a little explanation: In his book, the woods between the worlds is a place between our worlds and other worlds (Narnia being one of them) It's almost like a non-place. As I sit here in the Dallas Fort Worth airport, I feel like I'm in the wood between the worlds.

I suppose a lot of airports would feel like this, but this one in particular does. Because I got off a flight filled with Australians, to a place filled with American's, but Dallas isn't my final destination, so it just feels like this sort of in-between place. Because I associate America with certain people (my family, and friends from the States) it doesn't really feel like I'm in America. Yes, if I listen closely to the chatter I can hear that most of the people are speaking in American accents. Yes, if I look around I can see places like chic-fil-a, TGI Fridays, Auntie Annies. Yes, I see that people pull out paper bills to pay for things, and anywhere the date is written it is written in the month, day, year format. But despite all of those things, it still doesn't quite feel like America. It feels more like this in-between place. This place, that maybe doesn't really exist, in my world of Australia, or my world of America. It's just a sort of in-between.

Even though I know that this is only an in-between place I still find myself scanning the crowds as I walk through the airport, hoping that I might see a face that I know, I keep trying to listen for Australian accents, because maybe there will be someone I recognise.  And as I wait here in the airport, I'll eat some Chic-fil-a I try to convince myself that I really am in America. But it's not the country that I look forward to being in, it's the people that I look forward to seeing, so for now, here in Dallas, I'll sit and wait, walk far in wide in this place that feels quite familiar (living here for 24 hours once helps that). And I'll wait for that next flight that will take me to Indianapolis, a place where family will be waiting. and a place that will finally feel like America.

One of my greatest blessings...

...It was Mothers Day this past Sunday. And as I was thinking about my Mother I started reflecting on some of the things that I wouldn't have learnt were it not for her.
So I started a list and I thought I'd Share it:

10 Great Things I Learnt from My Mum 

1. How to read - that's a pretty special thing to have my mother teach me that, but she did, and did so much more than that in the 6 years that she homeschooled me. 
2. How to feed a crowd - mum was almost always okay with us kids inviting 3 extra people over for dinner...20 minutes before dinner was served. She'd cook up some rice, or make garlic bread out of hotdog buns, or do something to stretch the meal so that we could invite others over. This has given me a heart to show hospitality, and a skill to do it without breaking the budget.
3. How to set aside time every day for personal devotions - I remember time and time again walking past mum and dad's bedroom when the door was open and mum was sitting on the bed or kneeling beside it reading her bible praying, even working on memory verses. That is something that has stuck with me when I'm planning my day, I make sure to make time for time with the Lord. 
4. How to sing - I think some of this just happend from osmosis. Seriously. Sometimes when I sing the alto part to a psalm I hear mum singing it in my head (especially the psalms that we sang at meal times and bed times, something that I unconsciously picked up. She also just sang all the time, songs about anything and everything. Probably 50% of the songs that I know I learnt from hearing mum sing them. 
5. That writing thank you notes is important - there certainly were times that I dreaded the days after my birthday because I knew that mum would make me write thank you notes to the people who had given me birthday gifts. But after years of doing that, it became a habit. A habit that I'm so thankful to have. Because thank you notes are important to write, and it's something that I continue to be reminded of every time I receive a thank you note from my mother. 
6. How to drive a manual car  - Dad did a lot of the driving instructions when us kids were first learning to drive a car. When I was 19 and going back for my manual license though, it was mum who took me on my first drive, and most of the drives after that. And though pulling into the driveway was not the most successful drive of my driving career (mum may have lasting damage from that whiplash) mum was always patient with me and took me out again and again to drive our manual van. 
7. How to be a good listener - this is something mum often would do with us kids. She'd just listen when we wanted to talk. But I also saw her do it so very often with neighbours and church friends, and people who just needed a listening ear. She didn't try to fix their problems or offer solutions, she was so often just a listening ear which showed her care for people. She so often had an 'open door' policy in our home.
8. That family is important - This is something I learnt early on, from seeing her interaction with her parents and siblings and neices and nephews. And so often from her words 'don't you love your siblings?'. I grew to understand how important family is, and making the effort to get together with your family and love each other, love your siblings, and your parents even when you're grown up and don't live together anymore. Make family time special. 
9. That games are fun - Our family definitely went through stages of loving to play games together and other times mum would say 'who wants to play a game tonight?' and no one would answer. Sometimes I feel like I'm turning into mum when it seems like I'm the only one in the house who likes to play games, and I better know what it feels likes like when no one wants to play games with you after dinner. But she definitely taught me that playing games together is a fun way to spend an evening. 
10. How to make monkey bread - for as long as I can remember Monkey Bread has been a Blackwood Family Birthday Breakfast tradition. I remember many a late nights the night before someones biirthday mum would ask if anyone wanted to help her make monkey bread, and we'd make it together.

Sometimes I think I was the most privileged of my parents children. Privileged because I got to live with mum and dad longer than any of the rest of my siblings. Privileged because now when I go visit my parents I get them all to myself (which none of the rest of my siblings get anymore) For Mothers day this year I designed a picture for mum that read "Some of my greatest blessings call me Mum" - and it had each of her children's names below it. While that might be true for her, I know that it certainly is true for me, that one of my greatest blessings calls me 'Daughter' - and even further than that, she calls me her favourite middle daughter. I certainly am blessed to have a Mum who loves me as she does. Thank you Mum for teaching me great things, these 10, and SO many more, I love you my favourite mummy in the whole world!

The Smell of memories...

I'm not very regular at writing blogposts. And I find myself writing posts in my head all the time. When I'm cleaning and cooking, going for walks, riding my bike, I think I just speak in story. But I'm not very good at getting them from my head down into writing.
One thing that I often have done in years past is write a post on the anniversary of our family arriving in Australia. Because I'm sentimental, because I don't like those days to just go past without being recognised, and because I like to capture memories in my writing. So today's post, 

The smell of memories....

...Smells can sneak up on you, and suddenly, without trying to, you're reminded of something. They say smell is linked to memory more than all our other senses. And I can testify to that. Anytime I smell honeysuckles I'm a little girl again, in our backyard, making up some kind of concoction that me and my siblings will try eating. Sometimes it was delicious, like our pickle flower soup, or our grain and salt cereal. Followed by a dessert of honeysuckles. The dandelion and brick soups weren't quite as delicious. And you can ask Tamara about the many mud pies that she actually ate. I don't think she'll ever live that down in the Blackwood family. I love the smell of honeysuckles, the remind me of my childhood. Sometimes I think about planting some along our fence, but I'm afraid that if I smelt it every day it would no longer be linked to my childhood, and I would miss it.

When I smell snickerdoodles baking in the oven I'm reminded of Grandma and Grandpa Cole. And the days when they would come visit, and Grandpa would pick us up from school, and we'd come home to Grandma's freshly baked snickerdoodles. I love remembering those days.

Then there's smells that remind me of those first days in Australia 12 years ago. There's that orange air-freshener, anytime I smell it I'm taking back to our foot street house and those first few days. There's the smell of quiche being heated in the oven, our first breakfast in Australia. (we were told later not only do Australians not usually eat egg and bacon quiche for breakfast, but they usually eat it cold, so it's not a smell I smell often :) ). There's the smell of sweet water creek. I'm not even sure exactly what it is, but even now when I go for walks there it smells like 2006. My sisters and I call them 'WOAH!' moments. Those moments when without realising it, a smell, or a sound, or a sight take you back to first moving to Australia, when things were so different and even smells were foreign.

It's nice to look back, and reflect. Yesterday was our last worship service in the guide hall that we've used for the past many years. (We couldn't remember exactly how long we'd been there, which sent me searching through old bulletins. May 14th, 2006 was our first service there, so it has nearly been 12 years in that building) And one of our elders, Tony, reflected on those years in this building. The ways God has used this place for our worship services, the baptisms that have taken place, the people who have professed their faith,the worship and fellowship that has taken place as God has met with us. It was a good reminder to remember. Remember the great things that God has done for us, remember the ways God has blessed us, remember the people whose lives we've been able to reach and be a part of over the years, and even to remember the hard times, because we also remember that God has brought us through them. Both as individuals, and as a church family.

So as I smell things and am reminded of things, I'm thankful. Thankful that God gave us memories. Thankful that random sights and sounds and smells can take me back to places and times to think about and relive to things that God has done in my life.